Can we talk about that moment when you’re standing in your kitchen, surrounded by chaos, wondering how you’re supposed to be ALL the things to ALL the people?

Listen mama, between the endless snack requests, the “mom watch this!” moments, and that pile of laundry that somehow multiplies when you’re not looking… I know stopping to think about your “core values” might feel a bit… well, extra.

But here’s the thing (and I say this as a mom of 4 who’s definitely had her share of “is this really my life?” moments)…

Getting clear on your core values? It’s like finally having a GPS for those moments when motherhood has you feeling completely lost. It’s your “this is what actually matters” filter when the day goes sideways and everyone’s melting down (including you).

Ready to figure out what you ACTUALLY stand for (beyond “please let everyone sleep through the night”)? Let’s do this together. No fancy terminology, no perfect-mom pressure - just real talk about finding YOUR way through this beautiful mess called motherhood.

Mom and daughter sharing a joyful moment, building a strong bond and celebrating family connection.

Why Core Values Matter (Even When You’re in Survival Mode)

Think of core values like your mom-life GPS. You know those moments when everything’s chaos, everyone needs you, and you’re not sure which fire to put out first? Your core values are like having a trusted friend whisper, “Hey, focus here first - this is what actually matters.”

And let’s be honest… as moms, we’re basically professional curveball catchers.

The Mom Guilt Trap

You know that pit in your stomach when you’re questioning EVERY. SINGLE. DECISION? (Hello, 3am worry sessions!) Here’s the thing - when you’re clear on your values, that voice gets a little quieter. Because suddenly, you have a filter for all those “should I…?” moments.

When you know what matters most to YOU (not your mother-in-law, not that perfect-looking mom on Instagram), something magical happens:

You stop feeling pulled in 47 directions
Setting boundaries gets easier (yes, you CAN say no to that committee)
You actually feel like yourself again (remember her?)

Plus, your kids? They’re watching. And they’re learning from you what it means to stand strong in who you are. (No pressure though, right? 😉)

How to Create Your Core Values List

Let’s break this down into mom-friendly steps (because who has time for complicated?):l:

Step 1: Think About What Fires You Up (and What Drains You)

Grab your phone (or notebook if that’s more your thing) and use those precious few minutes when everyone’s actually occupied to answer:

What do you want your kids to remember about their childhood with you?
When was the last time you felt totally at peace?
What makes you feel like YOU (not just “mom”)?

No overthinking allowed! This is all about what feels true in your gut.

Step 2: Finding Your Values (Without Getting Overwhelmed)

Okay, now that we’ve done our gut-check, let’s get specific. I’m gonna share some values to consider, but remember - this isn’t a test! These are YOUR values!

We’re aiming for 5-7 values that make you go “YES. That’s so me!” Here’s some inspiration:

Balance: Making time for you, your family, and your passions.
Empathy: Leading with kindness and understanding, especially when it’s hard.
Resilience: AKA bouncing back after those days when everything goes sideways
Joy: Finding the giggles even when there’s marker on the walls
Growth: Because we’re all just figuring this out as we go
Connection: Making sure bedtime cuddles happen, even when the to-do list is screaming.

Quick tip: It’s easy to want to choose all the values. But remember, this list should feel manageable, not overwhelming. Think of these as your “non-negotiables”… the values that you’re unwilling to compromise.

Step 3: Making These Values Actually Work in Real Life

Here’s how to make each value work in your actual, messy, beautiful life:

Balance might look like:

Drinking your coffee while it’s still hot
Learning to order grocery delivery without guilt

Connection could be:

Family dance parties in the kitchen
Actually answering “what was the best part of your day?” at dinner
Phone-free cuddle time (even if it’s just 5 minutes)

Resilience in action:

Ordering pizza when meal prep just isn’t happening
Remembering that tomorrow is a new day
Letting the small stuff go (spoiler: most of it is small stuff)

True story: One of my mom clients chose “growth” as her value. Know what that looked like for her? Reading one chapter of a book during bath time. Just one chapter. But it made her feel like herself again - like she was more than just “mom.”

Woman writing in a journal, reflecting on personal growth and setting intentions for a balanced life.

Core Values List for Moms: 20 Examples That Make Sense for Real Moms

Let’s talk values that work in REAL life - you know, the one with sticky fingers, endless snack requests, and “mom, watch this!” on repeat.

Here’s my “keeping it real” list of values that might just click for you:

Presence: Showing up fully when it matters most, even in small moments.
Grace: Being kind to yourself and others, even on tough days.
Growth: Embracing the learning curve of motherhood without perfectionism.
Love: Building connections that go deeper than surface-level parenting.
Patience: Taking a breath before responding (and sometimes counting to 10).
Humor: Finding laughter, even in the chaos.
Adventure: Saying yes to new experiences, big and small.
Respect: Honoring your boundaries and teaching kids to honor theirs.
Creativity: Finding fresh solutions when Plan A (and B, and C) falls apart.
Gratitude: Noticing the good stuff, especially on tough days.
Kindness: Choosing compassion, starting with yourself.
Honesty: Being real, with yourself and others.
Resilience: Getting back up when motherhood knocks you down.
Balance: Making space for both family needs and personal growth.
Connection: Creating moments that matter, even in the everyday.
Integrity: Living your truth, not someone else’s highlight reel.
Health: Prioritizing wellbeing without the guilt.
Wisdom: Learning which battles actually matter.
Simplicity: Clearing the noise to focus on what counts.
Curiosity: Staying open to new perspectives and possibilities.

Remember: These aren’t aspirational quotes for your letter board - they’re practical anchors for real life. Choose the ones that feel authentic to you and your family.

image of my free self-care workbook for moms to download

Core Values in Action: Real Examples from Real Moms

Let’s break down how these values actually show up in everyday mom life:

Connection

Regular “special time” where each kid gets 15 uninterrupted minutes
Family meals without devices (even if it’s just breakfast)
Bedtime chats that go beyond “brush your teeth”
Car rides where questions matter more than quick answers

Growth

Taking that online course after bedtime

Learning alongside your kids instead of pretending to know everything
Starting the side business you’ve been dreaming about
Reading actual books (not just Instagram captions)

Balance

Setting work boundaries that stick

Learning to say “no” to good things to make room for great things
Scheduling self-care before you’re running on empty
Accepting that some days tilt more one way than another

Joy

Making room for the fun stuff, even when the house isn’t perfect

Finding your family’s unique ways to celebrate small wins
Creating traditions that actually work for your crew
Choosing activities that light everyone up

Gratitude

Morning check-ins about one good thing

Evening reflection on small victories
Teaching kids to notice the helpers
Acknowledging effort, not just results

Simplicity

Clearing calendar clutter before physical clutter

Making decisions based on what actually matters to your family
Creating routines that reduce daily friction
Letting go of “should” in favor of “works for us”

Curiosity

Following your kids’ interests (even when they’re different from yours)

Trying new things as a family
Asking questions instead of jumping to solutions
Making space for wonder in everyday moments

Happy couple smiling at each other, highlighting connection and support in a healthy relationship.

Making Your Values Work in Real Mom Life

Let’s get practical about this. No fancy systems - just real ways to make your values matter when you’re in the thick of motherhood:

Daily Decisions Made Easier

Think of your values like a quick filter for those million daily choices. Example? When you’re torn between cleaning the kitchen and playing with your kids, check your values:

If connection is key: The dishes can wait
If order matters most: A quick cleanup might actually help you be more present
If balance is your thing: Set a timer - 15 for each

Use Values to Set Boundaries (and Let Go of Guilt)

Here’s the thing - your values make saying “no” easier because they give you a solid reason. Try these:

“Thanks for thinking of me for the committee, but I’m focusing on family time right now.”
“I’d love to help, but I’ve committed to protecting my evenings for self-care.”
“That sounds fun, but we’re keeping weekends simple these days.”

Related Reading- Setting Boundaries as a Mom

Model Values to Foster Family Connection

You know what’s also important about living your values? They naturally ripple out to your whole family. It’s not about sitting everyone down for a formal “values lecture” (because we all know how well that works with kids 🙄). Instead, it’s about weaving them into your everyday moments.

Take my client Sarah - she really valued adventure but felt stuck in the same old routines. So she started “Surprise Fridays” with her kids. Sometimes it was as simple as trying a new park, other times they’d explore a different neighborhood. Her kids started looking forward to these little adventures, and suddenly they were all bringing ideas to the table. That’s the magic - when values become part of your family culture without feeling forced.

Another mom I worked with valued honesty and open communication. She noticed her kids were struggling to share when things got tough. So she started what they called “Truth Time” at dinner - sharing one thing that challenged them that day. At first, it was just “math was hard” or “I didn’t like lunch.” But over time? The conversations got deeper. Her kids started feeling safe sharing bigger stuff because they knew this was their judgment-free zone.

Let Values Guide Your Self-Care

Let’s talk about self-care for a minute - and I don’t mean the Instagram version. I mean the kind that actually fits into your real life and aligns with what matters to you.

If creativity is your thing, maybe it’s not about finding three hours for an art class (because… when?). Instead, it might look like keeping a notebook in your purse for random ideas, or sketching while your kids color, or even turning cooking dinner into a creative experiment. One of my moms found that her best creative moments happened during bath time - she’d sit on the bathroom floor with her journal while her kids played in the tub.

For those who value peace? It might mean waking up 15 minutes before everyone else - not for an elaborate morning routine, but just to drink your coffee in quiet. Or maybe it’s creating a five-minute meditation practice during school pickup line (hey, you’re stuck there anyway).

The key is matching your self-care to YOUR values, not someone else’s idea of what it should look like. When you do that, it stops feeling like another item on your to-do list and starts feeling like coming home to yourself.

Conclusion: Living by Your Core Values…One Step at a Time

Let’s wrap this up in a way that actually makes sense for your everyday mom life.

Here’s What We Know

Your values? They’re like your mom-life GPS. When everything’s chaotic and you’re not sure which way to turn, they’ll point you home. But here’s the thing - this isn’t about perfect implementation. It’s about small choices that add up to big changes.

What This Really Means For You

When you’re torn between “should” and “want to”? Your values help you choose.
Those moments when mom guilt creeps in? Your values remind you what actually matters.
Feeling pulled in too many directions? Your values help you prioritize.

The Truth About Making Changes

You don’t have to overhaul your entire life tomorrow. Start small:

Choose one value to focus on this week
Look for tiny moments to put it into action
Celebrate the small wins (they count!)

Where to Go From Here

If you’re feeling that spark - that “yes, this is what I’ve been missing” moment - I get it. This work can be transformative. But sometimes you need a guide who’s been there, someone to help you turn these ideas into real life change.

That’s where I come in. Through one-on-one coaching, we can: