Let me start by saying something that might ruffle some feathers: As a mom life coach with a master’s in counseling and years of studying behavior analysis, I can tell you that most of what we’ve been taught about being a “good mom” is absolute garbage.

Listen, I’ve spent years working with moms, diving deep into the psychology of parenting, and studying what ACTUALLY creates healthy, resilient kids. And you know what? It’s not what social media would have you believe.

Plus, I’ve been in the trenches myself. I’ve experienced the postpartum rage, the anxiety, the overwhelming moments where I questioned everything. And through both my professional expertise and personal experience, I’ve discovered something revolutionary:

The things that make you feel like a “bad mom”? They might actually be signs you’re doing this right.

Let’s break down what REALLY makes a good mom

(and why those “perfect mom” standards are actually hurting our kids):

You Lose Your Cool Sometimes

Let’s get real about mom rage for a minute. That moment when you snap, when your voice gets louder than you intended, when you react in a way that sends you straight into the shame spiral?

That doesn’t make you a bad mom. In fact, how you handle those moments is teaching your kids something invaluable.

When you:

Circle back and apologize
Talk about big feelings openly
Show them how to repair relationships
Model real emotion management

You’re teaching them emotional intelligence in a way that “always being perfect” never could.

2. Your Kids Have Seen You Cry (The Power of Emotional Authenticity)

As a mom of four, let me tell you - there have been plenty of tears. And you know what? That’s not just okay, it’s actually beneficial for our kids.

Through my work in behavior analysis, I’ve seen how children learn emotional regulation not from what we tell them, but from what we show them. When we hide all our difficult emotions, we’re accidentally teaching them that some feelings are shameful or need to be buried.

Real talk: The day my twins were having simultaneous meltdowns and I sat down on the kitchen floor and cried? That led to one of the most beautiful conversations about feelings I’ve ever had with my kids. They learned that:

Moms have big feelings too
It’s safe to express emotions
We can feel hard things and still be okay
Vulnerability creates connection

A free downloadable self-care guide designed for busy moms who need practical ways to recharge without guilt.

3. You Question Yourself Daily (Why Self-Reflection Matters)

That constant voice in your head wondering if you’re doing this right? The one that keeps you up at night replaying that moment when you could have handled things differently?

Here’s what I tell my coaching clients: That questioning isn’t a sign of weakness - it’s actually a superpower. It means you’re conscious, you’re growing, you’re actively engaged in becoming a better parent.

But (and this is a big but) - there’s a difference between productive reflection and paralyzing self-doubt. Learning to navigate that line is crucial, and it’s something we work on extensively in my coaching practice.

4. You Set Boundaries (Even When It Feels Mean)

Let’s talk about boundaries - the thing that makes most moms feel like the “mean mom” but is actually one of the most loving things we can do for our kids.

Through my years of coaching and my own experience raising four kids, I’ve seen how lack of boundaries leads to:

Overwhelmed moms
Anxious kids
Strained relationships
Resentment and burnout

Setting healthy boundaries teaches our kids:

Self-respect
How to handle disappointment
What healthy relationships look like
The importance of personal limits

5. You Take Care of Yourself (Without the Guilt)

Let me tell you something I learned the hard way - both as a mom of four and as a behavior specialist: When we’re running on empty, our kids get our leftovers, not our best.

I remember the day it hit me. I was snapping at everyone, feeling resentful, and barely keeping it together. My master’s in counseling taught me all about the importance of self-care, but living it? That was a different story.

Here’s what nobody tells you: Self-care isn’t selfish - it’s actually crucial for your kids’ emotional well-being. When you:

Take that solo trip to Target
Say “no” to the PTA meeting
Hire help without guilt
Prioritize your mental health

You’re teaching your kids that:

Their worth isn’t tied to endless giving
Taking care of yourself is normal and healthy
Balance isn’t just a buzzword
Boundaries and self-respect go hand in hand

6. You Choose Connection Over Perfection

Can we talk about those Pinterest-perfect moments we’re all supposed to be creating? As someone who’s studied child development extensively, let me tell you - your kids don’t need elaborate sensory bins or Instagram-worthy birthday parties.

What they need is connection. And sometimes that looks messy:

Dancing in the kitchen while dinner burns
Showing up at school pickup in yesterday’s clothes
Abandoning the “perfect” schedule to follow your kid’s lead
Being present even when everything isn’t “just right”

Through my work with hundreds of moms (and raising my own four kids), I’ve seen how chasing perfection actually disconnects us from what matters most.

7. You Trust Your Gut (Even When Others Judge)

This might be the most controversial thing I’ll say, but as a mom life coach with both the professional credentials and in-the-trenches experience, I need you to hear this:

Your intuition about your kids often matters more than any parenting book, well-meaning relative, or social media expert.

I see this all the time in my coaching practice - moms who know in their gut what their child needs, but:

Second-guess themselves because of outside opinions
Feel pressured to parent the “right” way
Ignore their instincts to follow the crowd
Lose confidence in their own wisdom

Here’s what I know from both professional experience and raising four very different kids: There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to parenting. What works for one child might be completely wrong for another.

A supportive mom life coach offering personalized guidance to help overwhelmed moms rediscover balance, confidence, and joy in motherhood.

The Truth About Being a “Good Mom”

Here’s what I want you to take away from all of this: Being a “good mom” isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being real, present, and conscious in your parenting journey.

After spending years studying child development, working with tons of moms, and raising my own four kids (while definitely not getting it right all the time), I can tell you this with absolute certainty:

The version of you that:

Loses it sometimes but knows how to repair
Sets boundaries even when it feels hard
Takes care of yourself without apology
Trusts your gut over the “experts”
Shows up authentically, mess and all

That’s the mom your kids actually need.

Not the Pinterest-perfect version. Not the Instagram-worthy moments. Not the mom who has it all together all the time.

But here’s the thing - knowing this and living it are two different stories. That’s exactly why I created my mom life coaching practice.

Because you shouldn’t have to:

Figure this out alone
Wait for weekly therapy sessions when you need support now
Feel guilty about taking care of yourself
Question your instincts constantly
Navigate the hard moments without backup

What if instead, you had:

Real-time support when mom life gets overwhelming
Permission to trust your intuition
Strategies that actually work for YOUR family
Someone who gets both the science and reality of motherhood
A guide who’s been there (times four!) and has the professional expertise to help